


The Letter

by Hannah_ruth_990



Series: The Choice [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Brother Feels, Caring!Sam, Character Death, Letters, M/M, POV Sam, Post canon, Sam Knows, Sam Ships It, goodbye letter, it depends on how you look at it - Freeform, not happy but not sad either, the darkness has been defeated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 21:02:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5885062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hannah_ruth_990/pseuds/Hannah_ruth_990
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam wrote Dean a letter in case anything happened to him ...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Letter

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this was my first fic to post on here, and actually the first part of 'The Choice' that I actually wrote. 
> 
> Hope you like it, if not .. please keep the hate to yourself :)
> 
> Part 5 should be up next Wednesday night!!

Dean,

If you're reading this letter, it means I didn't make it out of this fight alive. Heh our luck had to run out eventually right?

I know you're probably already thinking of ways to bring me back, but Dean ... _don't_.  
As much as I know you're hurting right now, please man, don't try to bring me back. _Please_ just let me stay dead.  
I don't know where I'm going to end up (Heaven? Hell? Purgatory? Maybe just float around in limbo for eternity), but you gotta let me be Dean.

I've known for a while now that I wouldn't make it out of this one alive, and honestly ... I'm okay with that.  
I released the darkness on the world and if I have to die in the fight to lock it back up, well then so be it.  
I've made my peace with it, I just hope that one day you can too.

Man you deserve some peace in your life. All the shit we've been through and that damn _Mark_ ...

Dean promise me something, well three things actually - hey I'm dead so you damn well better respect my final wishes!!

Firstly, don't try and bring me back. I know I've already said this, but I'm **serious** Dean. It's time to just let me go. We always make things worse when we try to save each other, and I don't think the world can handle another apocalyptic event. I don't think _you_ can ...

Which bring me to my second request, get out of the life. It doesn't have to be completely, knowing you you'll still want to gank some ugly ass monster every now and again, I mean it's in our blood. You're a hunter, but you're getting too old to be running around chasing things that go bump in the night ... it's time for the next generation of hunters to take over. Heck maybe even give Alex and Claire some pointers, they sure could learn a thing or two (Jodie is a good teacher but cmon man, you know way more shit than her).  
You have a bunker full of knowledge and monster lore, maybe set the hunter network back up or something (if Garth could do it, you sure as hell can).

My third request may be the most difficult for you, because it involves opening yourself up to _feelings_ and actually having to _talk_ about them.

Do you remember when I said that maybe you should find someone who understands the life? Well I already had someone in mind, someone who understands the supernatural and the hunting life better than anyone we've ever met. Someone who has literally gone to hell and back with you .. _for you_.

You know who I'm talking about Dean, and I think it's time to finally accept your feelings and act on them.  
Don't act so surprised that I know dude, I'm your brother ... and _I have eyes._

I've known for a while now, but never said anything because well, it was for you to come to terms with on your own.  
But I'm gone now, and you're not going to be okay for a while.  
You guys need to be there for each other because he's going to be hurting as well, he was my friend too.  
Let him take care of you Dean, don't push him away.

He loves you, you know that right?  
So stop running and just embrace it man. Because trust me, you don't want it to slip through your fingers.

Ask him to **_stay_** , because he will.  
He's always wanted to stay, to have a home, to belong.  
His place is by your side Dean, so make sure you tell him.  
You tell him that he's family and that he belongs with you, that wherever you are is home.  
Tell him you _**need**_ him.  
(I know what that means okay .. and hey maybe one day you'll be able to say it properly).

I love you Dean, and that's why I've asked these things of you. You may not believe it, but you deserve happiness and a chance to grow old (maybe you'll live in that retirement village one day. Haha old retired Dean Winchester, I can picture it now).

Thank you by the way, for always taking care of me. I know you think it was your job, but it wasn't. You didn't have to look out for me all the time, I am an adult you know .. well was .. shit sorry .. god this isn't easy. There are so many things I want to say, but I just can't seem to get them out ya know?  
I guess all you really need to know is that I'm _proud_ of you, and that you were an amazing big brother, and I am _damn_ lucky that you were mine.

Take care of yourself Dean,

Sammy


End file.
